Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Sharing the news/late pregnancy loss story

This is a story of a late pregnancy loss so if you don't want to read it please stop now. I just wanted to preface why it was so hard to share my news with one of my real life close friends.

I have a couple real life infertile friends to go along with my blog friends. One of these friends I have known for around twelve years. We will call her Ann.

Ann went through multiple cycles of IUI with no success and had been diagnosed with unexplained infertility. So then she decided to move onto IVF. She purchased the package deal through ARC financing, borrowed the money at a lower rate from her brother and she was ready to go! She didn't want to just pay for one cycle because she was ready for it to take more than one try due to the failed IUI's.

Ann ended up transferring two embryos and they didn't have any that made it to freeze. Two weeks later they got the good news that they were pregnant, with twins. She was over the moon for sure. The pregnancy was uneventful, however she did have more sonograms due to the multiple pregnancy. On week 20 they found out that they were having a boy and a girl, her dreams were coming true. At each sonogram she noticed a little black spot on her baby girls heart when it was beating but didn't think twice about it. 

Fast forward to the last few weeks of pregnancy. Ann went in for her weekly ultrasound and had a little bleeding. The u/s tech got quiet and excused them self from the room. Ann instantly new something was wrong and during the u/s had seen the black spot but it wasn't moving. When the tech and the doctor returned to the room they came in with heart wrenching news. Her baby girl's heart had stopped beating. How could this happen two weeks before delivery?? She was told that they were going to do a c section and it would happen that day. So she had to call her husband and family to break the news. 

Her baby girl was perfect in every way, but God had chosen to keep her. Her son came into the world perfect as well and ready to be loved. Ann had to plan a funeral, bury her daughter, recover from a c section and take care of a newborn. She is one of the strongest, loving,  christian women that I know and it wasn't fair. 

I lived out of state when all of this happened but I came home to visit a couple months later. I hugged her, and asked to see pictures of her baby girl. She instantly started crying and thanked me for caring about her little girl. Everyone had been avoiding talking about her and acted like she never existed, even her husband. She was such a proud mommy, and her little girl was so beautiful.

She ended up getting a big surprise a few years later when she conceived naturally with a second son. Her oldest knows that he was a twin and has a sister in heaven and when he was little she would always catch him talking to someone in his room. We like to believe it was her..

Ann has been one of my biggest cheerleaders during my IVF and last night I called her with the news from my sonogram. I didn't call her last week because I was making sure I had the call played out in my head before she answered. Of course she was extremely excited for me and then the words came that I knew were on her heart.. I can't believe it is twins.. I am so jealous, well you know what I mean.. And then of course she went on with her excitement and joy. We had to get off of the phone quickly because her son had football practice but I prayed for her all night. I still don't understand why these things happen, and never will.

I have vowed to not go a minute without rejoicing and being thankful for the babies that I have growing within at the moment. That doesn't mean that I won't have worry but I will still be thankful. God knows how this is all going to play out, so I continue to pray.


  1. Thank you so much for sharing Ann's story. What an amazing woman and friend to have in your life. Praying everyday for health and protection for your little babies.

  2. What a heartbreaking story. Thank you for sharing. I am a twin and to think of not having grown up with her is just... unthinkable. It is a good reminder to always be thankful.

  3. Wow, what a story. Thank you for sharing. XO

  4. That was the kind of thing I worried about during my twin pregnancy. I'm so incredibly thankful we all made it through healthy. I'm thinking of you- I know the excitement of twins after IVF, but I also know the worry that roots in these type of stories. You are so right, enjoy each and every moment of the wild ride, it was the most amazing experience of my life!!!!!

  5. Thank you for sharing her story, so heartbreaking. Prayers for her and you and your lil ones :)

  6. so sorry to to hear this. Thank you for sharing!! Blessings and peace to your friend!

  7. Such a heartbreaking story; At the same time, such beautiful friendship.

  8. Thank you for sharing such a touching story. Your friendship has such a great bond.

  9. This really is a touching story and while its a story of loss it really is also a beautiful story. I'm so glad you called and talked to her separately as I'm sure that meant the world to her. So happy for you and praying for you!