Monday, December 30, 2013

Why can't I be normal?

I have never been normal. Never. However it would be nice to be normal for the next 7 months or so.

With no symptoms besides being tired and some constipation which could be from the Crinone that is it. I don't want to complain because I could be laid up in bed puking my heart out but the lack of symptoms scares the crap out of me. Plus as promised my OHSS is getting better by the day. I am not complaining about this either but when your stomach is shrinking and you are losing weight when you are pregnant it is scary.

"Normal" women that get pregnant maybe have an initial u/s and then don't have another one until around 20 weeks and think nothing about it. I feel like in order to keep my sanity I need one every two weeks or so. My first OB/GYN appointment is coming up in a few days and there is no ultrasound scheduled. I am hoping that since it is a twin pregnancy and I lack symptoms that he will at least take a couple of seconds to check the heartbeats. I will be 10 weeks 5 days. Due to the OHSS and my uterus growing there is no hiding my stomach. I usually have a pretty flat tummy so the patients where I work are starting to stare. One girl last week actually looked at me and said, wow I didn't know you were pregnant. Ugh.  So I told myself that after this appointment I would just tell people. I know.. not 13 weeks but it is time.

I stopped my Crinone yesterday and that also has me a little nervous. As of today all that I am taking is my prenatal vitamin and my extra folic acid.  My RE told me that 10 weeks is actually longer than needed but they like to be safe. If that is the case why do other women take it up until 12 weeks? I looked online and talked with some of the women in my support group on Facebook and they said that the corpus luteum and the placenta take over between weeks 8-10. So I am trusting the doctor because he should know. And I am trusting God.

Why can't I be normal??

16 comments:

  1. I wish I were "abnormal" like you!! :) I've polled A LOT of people and many of them never felt sick a day in their 9 month pregnancy! Thinking of you!!

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    1. Ha! I bet you do.. Thinking of you too!

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  2. You odd ball! LOL.....

    Maybe you will be one of those very lucky woman with a non sick, fun pregnancy :)

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  3. It's so cool to me how much faith it takes to get pregnant, but so much ore during the pregnancy!! Pain is never from the Lord, so I think it's GREAT that you aren't experiencing any, because that means the enemy is not present. AMEN!

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  4. Eh, I am beginning to think there is no "normal" during pregnancy. Even the fertiles have their trials and tribulations. Some of us get really sick first trimester, some get GD, others pre-e, some deliver early, some are excruciatingly late...I hope everything goes well at your appointment!

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  5. I hope your babies are doing fabulous and you continue to feel well, so maybe you will be able to enjoy this a little :) I think I would be just as worried as you are though.

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  6. I think that you are perfectly normal for someone who's gone through infertility and who's watched her friends in the IF community deal with some pretty horrible stuff. We just don't have the rose coloured glasses that regular people do when it comes to pregnancy. I like to think that this makes us appreciate it even more, but 9 months of stress is no fun for anyone and no good for babies! I hope your checkup goes well and you get the peace of mind you need.

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  7. I'm pretty sure all of the above would make me nervous too. There's something about stopping the progesterone that just seems terrifying, but everybody does it. Trust the Lord and your body! I'm believing everything is going to turn out just fine!

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  8. I can totally understand that not having symptoms would be really tough mentally. However, as a major symptom sufferer, I'm not sure which is worse!! FX for you!! xoxo

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  9. I totally get it! I had 0 pregnancy symptoms until pretty much halfway through second trimester. I lost a lot of weight my first tri. People who didn't know kept telling me how good I looked. It was really weird and scary. I didn't feel pregnant. And each day I was scared I lost the baby. I didn't gain a pound until week 28. Each u/s gave me comfort for about a day. Just hang in there.

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  10. So glad that everything is smooth sailing right now!

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  11. Oh my friend, try not to worry. You don't need the stress and neither do those sweet babies. I felt great all through my pgs. Hoping you do to and that you relax! Love you!

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  12. Once you have been down the road of IF and pregnancy loss, I don't think you can ever relax during your pregnancy. Unfortunately we know all too well about all the things that can go wrong. Ignorance really is bliss...

    Have you thought about a fetal doppler? That may bring you some sense of peace. I believe you can rent the more expensive ones and then there are the ones that are sold in regular stores. I think you can also use flexible spending funds to cover it. Maybe something to consider?

    Good luck at your OB appointment! I am sure he will check for heart beats but if not, ask him to! And share your concerns with him, let him know how anxious you are. I did that when I was pregnant with Sarah and my doctor was very accommodating. Use that advanced maternal age for everything it is worth, LOL!

    Also, if you do the genetic screening, you will get another ultrasound for that and you can do that at 14 weeks :)

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  13. I'm sorry it's not easier now that you're finally pregnant. Hugs

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  14. Hoping for normality for you lady... and a sense of peace and comfort that allows you to enjoy your pregnancy!

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