Cup day

Today is the day that my husband gets to give his sample, which he is super excited about doing (not). Yesterday he went to the urologist and he was told that his bait and tackle all looked great so at least the equipment is ready to go. Now we just need there to be lots of swimmers. We were told that we should get the results back in three business days. I am pretty anxious because if all looks good we can just move forward with the clomid and that would be a lot friendlier on our bank account. I know that IUI is a ton cheaper than IVF but a thousand dollars is a thousand dollars. My insurance is not going to cover anything during this journey. And besides the progesterone I have only had my thyroid and prolactin checked so there are more tests in my future. "Not medically necessary" whatever. I am not a fan of Obama care, but for us infertiles there could be a plus. All the insurance companies have to have the same plans and they have turned in their proposals. In January I will know more but insurance may have to have a fertility clause. Of course this will cost me more to have but I guarantee that it will be less in the long run.

One of my 31 cousin's just had another child this week which makes number seven for them. Of course I am happy for them but really? They can have seven and I am struggling to have one? Life is not fair and I get that but I still struggle. My best friend is due next month and she is the most adorable pregnant person I have ever seen. I would have loved to be pregnant with her and shared in this experience but it wasn't meant to be. It is strange because for some reason I have no issue looking at her or talking about her pregnancy. Every other person makes me hold back emotion. I'm sure it's because I love her so much but it is still strange. Of course when that baby is born I will lose it. It will be happy tears mixed with a little "I want one too!"  but we will see.

Thanks for listening! Having this blog to talk to other people in the same boat has been very therapeutic, even if there may be only five of you and I don't get comments. I know you are there! So thanks again.