Monday, October 7, 2013


Tomorrow we have some "fun" appointments with our RE.

- DH gets to do semen analysis and have 24 hour prep ($185)
- DH gets to give blood to test for communicable diseases (mine were good)($523x2)
- We will be signing all of our consent forms ($40 office visit)
- Going over how to administer injections and mix correctly
- I will be getting a sonohysterogram and doing a trial embryo transfer ($772)

NONE of these things are in our ARC package and are out of pocket. $2,043 is the amount we will need to come up with.

$11,456 ARC
$2,043 not covered so far
$185 (for semen analysis retrieval day)
$2,500 medication (give or take)
????  whatever else I have missed

$16,184 at this point. And if we don't win the 50% game we will have to spend more in medication for our FET. Then if we lose again... Well, I'm going to pretend that isn't going to happen.

I am choosing to live in the world where IVF works the first time for us and we get pregnant with twins. Then I will make it to at least 36 weeks and give birth to two amazing babies. Right now that is the world I need to be in to feel safe and less scared.

I've read a lot of kicking infertility's butt blogs lately, but I have also cried when reading the loss posts come across my feed as well. I feel real pain for these women and can't imagine how they truly feel because I have never been pregnant and lost a life. So I pray...

I have been so tearful today and I haven't even started the for real medications yet! I think that I am just overwhelmed with what is coming. I feel blessed that we are able to do this it's just a lot. Our anniversary is on Sunday and we are going to just do cards and maybe a meal out. Our anniversary, birthday, Christmas, new year and valentines gift to each other this year is IVF (and hopefully a baby)

Thank you for being a huge part of my support system. Today I need some positive thoughts.


  1. Thinking of you guys and hoping that you will be one of those people who gets pregnant with their first ivf. I think things look good for that to happen. Fingers crossed for you during this new chapter.

  2. Happy Anniversary! I like the world you're living in! I agree...this is going to work! xoxo

  3. I feel you in the gift department... That's been our life for the last several holidays. The unexpected/unincluded costs with IVF are SO frustrating... but I'm praying with you that you are a one hit wonder! Good luck tomorrow!

  4. Stumbled across your blog and wanted to send some well wishes your way! Happiest of Anniversary's to you! Thinking good thoughts for you and your upcoming IVF!

  5. You have got your head in the right place. Just keeping thinking those positive thoughts. It's going to work! It's going to work!

  6. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way!

  7. Happy anniversay! I know how it feels to write the check to ARC and then realize you have even more checks to write. Thinking about you!

  8. I hope this cycle goes just as you have planned! You deserve it! Good luck :)

  9. I remember the "calm before the storm" feeling-I knew things were going to get crazy with the whirlwind once the meds start, but its exciting too and feels like you are doing ALL you can! I love that you are choosing to use your energy on being optimistic! 50% chance it will work! I like it and am so pumped for you!

  10. Wishing you the best on this! You got this!

  11. I just found your blog today, and I too am starting my first IVF process. You are about a month ahead of me. I am so scared of the shots... I honestly don't understand why we have to do it to ourselves.... just does not seem right! I don't trust my hubby either, it's the blind leading the blind. I have my trial run next month - Good Luck to you, I am looking forward to following your journey!

  12. Thinking of you lots....that was our anniversary present to each other almost a year ago today and i am cuddling my sweet girl right now. Sending lots of love and hope your way<3 michelle