I am somewhere in between happy, sad and scared. I think it is the anxiety I am having with our upcoming IVF cycle. My husband brought me back to earth this week. I have been saying things like "when" we get pregnant and "when" I am carrying your baby and this makes him uncomfortable. He reminded me of our 50-60% chance and that we aren't guaranteed to get a baby at the end our our struggle. So I told him that I was saying it to "will" it to happen.. to put those positive vibes out into the universe and not go into this process with a negative attitude. He told me that it is not being negative not saying those things, and we should hope for the best but prepare for the worse. His rationale makes perfect sense.
But I am not always a rational person, I live a lot of my life on Faith. Of course I know of our odds, and that we may not get a baby at the end of this journey. And I also know that I will be an emotional mess if this happens. I am keeping my Faith, I'm just going to bring a little more of the rational side out as well moving forward.
Lupron, menopur and bravelle shots start in a couple of weeks... We are getting closer!