So today I made the call. I called my mom to tell her that we have decided to do In Vitro Fertilization. Yes, we chose to practice our Christianity in the Catholic church however we do not have the same stance as the church when it comes to a few things. Obviously IVF is one of those things. I am in a good place and have come to peace with our choice.
My mom does not approve of our choice because she does agree with every stance, but also said that she doesn't judge us even though it is a choice she would never make. I told her that it isn't fair that she says that because she never had to make that choice. She said that she really wished that I would talk to my cousins wife that does Natural Family Planning through the church. I reminded her that I have been charting, taking my temperature having timed intercourse for the last year. I have done EVERYTHING suggested from NFP. I went on to remind her that this is a medical issue. She said that with Faith she believes that God would still provide without IVF. I then used her cancer as an example. God provided us with doctors to help us with whatever disease we have. Infertility is a disease, and my husband and I have this disease.. She would not refuse chemo to save her life, and I will not refuse IVF to give me a life.
I have Faith in God. He is with me every second of every day. I know that he will be there with us along this journey no matter what. I also know that he will be guiding every Doctor, nurse and lab tech along this journey as well.
We got to the point where she said that she will be praying for me that I stay healthy through the process and that it isn't going to be easy. I know that she loves me. I know that she will be in love with our future baby. I know she will be here for me, but knowing that she doesn't approve is hard.
I received a book from Holly at Baby, Oh Baby called Hannah's Hope "Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage, and Adoption Loss". I plan on starting it tonight. I am also getting another book Where the *bleep* is our stork recommended by a guest blooger called The Infertility Companion Hope and Help for couples facing Infertility. I'm planning on posting a quick review for each book after I read them.
I want to thank everyone that reads my blog and has reached out to me. Your kindness means the world to me right now and it keeps me on the right track. I am praying, and staying positive because of you and God!