So today I made the call. I called my mom to tell her that we have decided to do In Vitro Fertilization. Yes, we chose to practice our Christianity in the Catholic church however we do not have the same stance as the church when it comes to a few things. Obviously IVF is one of those things. I am in a good place and have come to peace with our choice.
My mom does not approve of our choice because she does agree with every stance, but also said that she doesn't judge us even though it is a choice she would never make. I told her that it isn't fair that she says that because she never had to make that choice. She said that she really wished that I would talk to my cousins wife that does Natural Family Planning through the church. I reminded her that I have been charting, taking my temperature having timed intercourse for the last year. I have done EVERYTHING suggested from NFP. I went on to remind her that this is a medical issue. She said that with Faith she believes that God would still provide without IVF. I then used her cancer as an example. God provided us with doctors to help us with whatever disease we have. Infertility is a disease, and my husband and I have this disease.. She would not refuse chemo to save her life, and I will not refuse IVF to give me a life.
I have Faith in God. He is with me every second of every day. I know that he will be there with us along this journey no matter what. I also know that he will be guiding every Doctor, nurse and lab tech along this journey as well.
We got to the point where she said that she will be praying for me that I stay healthy through the process and that it isn't going to be easy. I know that she loves me. I know that she will be in love with our future baby. I know she will be here for me, but knowing that she doesn't approve is hard.
I received a book from Holly at Baby, Oh Baby called Hannah's Hope "Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage, and Adoption Loss". I plan on starting it tonight. I am also getting another book Where the *bleep* is our stork recommended by a guest blooger called The Infertility Companion Hope and Help for couples facing Infertility. I'm planning on posting a quick review for each book after I read them.
I want to thank everyone that reads my blog and has reached out to me. Your kindness means the world to me right now and it keeps me on the right track. I am praying, and staying positive because of you and God!
I have a post coming on this EXACT topic soon! Faith and fertility treatments seem to bump heads all too often, but I think you're right. Press on my friend, press on!
ReplyDeleteI agree, that God will be with you every step of the way! XO
ReplyDeleteI had this same conversation with a friend, in regards to religion and the view of IVF. I say a baby is a miracle regardless of how it comes to be. I for one am at peace with my decision and when I pray I do mention that this is what will make me happy and for the sake of my happiness he will forgive my sin because in my eyes it isn't a sin.
ReplyDeleteI too felt someone "judged" by people who claim "IVF" is playing God. Lol. God is still God and He still is the one who determines if IVF works. He can still do His will and close doors/open them all based on His timing. I totally agree about the cancer analogy-yes, we pray and believe God for healing and blessing BUT there is nothing wrong with seeking medical help for people who feel that is the next step! I'm glad your mom is being supportive with prayer :) I agree-easier for people to say they wouldn't do it that never had to deal with the fear of never having a kid :) Wooo hoo IVF!
ReplyDeleteI will definitely have to check out the book about Seeking God's Heart. Sounds right up my alley! If you haven't read Pregnant with Hope, that one is REALLY good too. I know it's not easy coming to terms with using fertility treatments to begin with, but it's doubly hard to contemplate how faith meshes with it all. I tend to believe the same as you...that God works miracles through doctors that we can't ourselves. Infertility IS a disease caused by medical issues, just like any other.
ReplyDelete*hugs* I believe as you do and I know it was hard to tell your mom but glad you did. Lots of prayers!
ReplyDeleteBest of luck to you. I am Catholic (born and raised) and while my folks have never said that they don't agree with my choices; they do understand why we have to consider them. I hope that you feel good about this no matter what anyone else thinks! Enjoy the reads!
ReplyDeleteHugs
I love how you break down getting treated for this disease of infertility! I wish more would see it as a disease and not minimize this problem. Once your mom sees your baby, she will be so grateful for modern medicine and your efforts to get that sweet baby here!
ReplyDeleteThat was brave of you to make the decision to move forward with IVF, despite the lack of support from your mom. Hugs to you. <3 your strength.
ReplyDeleteLove you and standing firm beside you in your choices. Sorry everyone can't accept your decision. Praying for everyone's hearts! You know even though they are our moms they don't always say or do the right stuff. Hopefully she will jump on your team.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who struggled through infertility for eight years, I know I would not be where I am without IVF. I agree with you wholeheartedly that IVF is still only a chance, not a certainty. God ultimately decides it all.
ReplyDeleteI think it was brave of you to tell your mom when you knew she would not agree with the decision. I think you ht the nail on the head though when you said that she might have a different view if she struggled. I am very excited to hear how everything goes for you. Hoping the first times the charm!