Proud of me

One of my closest friends had the most beautiful baby boy on Friday night. We work together and so I have watched her belly grow, felt kicks and fell in love with him before he even came into the world. It is strange because I haven't felt as much pain with her pregnancy as I do with all the other pregnant women I encounter, a little jealousy perhaps but not the pain. I am guessing it is because of how much I love her and her three year old already and the new baby is just an extension of them.

Here is the pride part. When I was driving to the hospital I only felt excitement, when I walked into the waiting room happiness and when I got to walk in and see the baby my heart literally melted. I really thought that I would exhibit the ugly cry but I didn't. My girlfriend actually asked me last week if I was going to cry when I met him and I started crying just from her asking! So I'm pretty proud of myself. I did however take a moment to cry on the way home because I was feeling sorry for myself. I kept thinking that I may never get to experience that myself. Then I told myself to suck it up and just get over it because crying and stressing about it isn't going to help me get pregnant. I have been doing pretty good at staying positive and I am praying for positive feedback on 8/12 when I have my RE appointment.

Have a great Tuesday friends! I'm sending positive vibes your way today so let's kick infertility's ass and get us some babies!! Who's comin' with me???


If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

-Marcus Aurelius

The Buddha taught that we suffer because we cling. "Clinging" is defined as "holding on or pushing away," which are the same thing. Both require intense focus and energy.

ASSIGNMENT. Today notice how "your estimate" of a thing determines your experience of it. If your experience is suffering, revoke your estimate.