"What if" wins

I have come to the conclusion in the TTC world that TMI doesn't really exist or matter. So since I know everyone was on pins and needles about my sex life (not) we took the "what if" mentality last night. I'm not sure that either of us will make "what if" work again tonight because as most of you know BD'ing isn't something to get excited about when it is forced. Don't get me wrong it is enjoyable but it isn't tear your clothes off and ravish each other enjoyable like the movies. I have always had a good appetite when it comes to wanting to have relations with my husband and a year ago I couldn't have even fathomed the thought of not wanting to do the deed. We are there now and I actually look forward to not forcing the act. If we were to have a miracle this month and conceive on our own I could be 100% fine with taking a three or four month sabbatical from sex. Who am I ?!?!? Oh ya, I'm a cray cray infertile on a baby making mission.